At the Moment of Condensation
By Marguerite Sheffer
FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLIC DISSEMINATION:
CareCorp seeks information regarding the person(s) who interfered with the moisture collection facility of Precipitation Catch Basin 45 on the afternoon of Friday, April 24.
This interference, commonly called “rain theft,” will be dealt with to the fullest extent of the law. Diversion of atmospheric moisture constitutes a felony. According to Oklahoma State Law (1.3.XXIV) any such moisture becomes the property of CareCorp at the moment of condensation, when such condensation occurs in corporately-owned airspace.
To aid the public in identification of the miscreant(s), CareCorp shares the following:
76 drones assembled at 4:13 pm at an altitude of ~2500 feet, hovering between cumulonimbus clouds (altitude 4200 feet) and the CareCorp Catch Basin. Drones were of the variety available at mass market stores. Attached to the underside of each drone was a single, inverted umbrella.
Though the water-carrying capacity of each craft was small, resulting losses to the corporation total over $8500 in property and expected revenue, over an approximately 25-minute period. The precedent is striking and such violations will not be allowed to continue. If unresolved, CareCorp will be forced to increase water prices for the next rain cycle.
Several particularly distinct umbrellas were observed, including:
● Translucent pink umbrella with “cat ears”
● Yellow umbrella illustrated with ducks in galoshes
● Child’s umbrella with pale lavender and blue ribbons attached to tips
If you recognize these umbrellas or believe you may have seen similarly flagrant umbrellas on the street or in private domiciles, please come forward. Be aware that the childish nature of several umbrellas suggests that those involved may now be between thirteen and seventeen years of age, having begun their possession of said umbrellas before the recent period of drought.
Evidence obtained from security footage suggests the involvement of multiple such individuals in a highly coordinated operation. As rainfall ceased, drones gathered together briefly in close proximity to form a colorful “teardrop” or “raindrop” shape.
Security forces were unable to make adequate pursuit as the high number of intruding vehicles scattered in various directions simultaneously, fleeing CareCorp airspace.
We at CareCorp pride ourselves on our stewardship of this valuable resource, and beseech the public’s support in seeking justice. Those with knowledge of this incident are encouraged to come forward by contacting their community’s CareCorp liaison.
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Marguerite Sheffer
She is a writer and educator who lives in New Orleans, Louisiana. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Asimov’s Science Fiction, The Dread Machine, Cast of Wonders, The Pinch, and The Adroit Journal, where she is a 2023 Anthony Veasna So Scholar in Fiction. Maggie is a founding member of Third Lantern Lit, a community writing collective, and volunteers at 826 New Orleans. She is a member of the Nautilus and Wildcat Writing Groups. She received her MFA from Randolph College. You can find her online @mlensheffer and www.margueritesheffer.com.