i dream my dad dies and no one finds him

Samantha Padgett

and he’s slurring
i’ll never tell you
when i’m dying
you know that real
toxic shit i lay in
bed try to recite that
poem with the corpse
and the fly pray to god
the claw machine reaches
down and touches me
just once just one time
the jewelry box stops
singing and there’s rot
and hunger worms inch
up his nostrils and build
homes eggs hatch behind
glass eyes mother tells
me to pull the meat
off the bones it’ll
freeze well i puke
of course a real
daddy’s girl

i visit the DMV
watch a youtube
tutorial on how
to fill out a check
call my therapist
tell her
my dad’s love
is like god’s
she isn’t impressed
she asks if there’s
a universe in which
i actually know the feel
of the calluses
on his hands be honest
of course there isn’t one

i cry in the lobby
of a movie theater
again hate
myself for counting
down the days

i wake up and write
the goddamn
obituary

—

About Author

Samantha Padgett holds an MFA from Sam Houston State University. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Cleaver Magazine, New Ohio Review, North American Review, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. She lives in Austin, TX with her partner and her cat.

Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @sampadgett96!